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Assignment 9: Miguel Montana

Well I’ve always felt to some degree that I was an outsider in anything that I was a part of. I don’t exactly mesh perfectly in anything which is something that I am fine with, but it’s also something that does feel very isolating and makes me wonder how one would go about functioning normally. I sometimes find myself questioning minuscule actions just to make sure that I am doing things as others do them, purely because I don’t have this contextual subconscious knowledge about social norms and behaviors that seems so natural for everyone else. Of course, this is with the assumption that other people don’t feel the same way that I do, which I am sure isn’t the case at all. Yet, carefully extrapolating this isolation mindset that seems common among all people, leaves you with this… I guess confusion. Particularly as a male, generally speaking there’s a lot of things a guy can do that are just seen as creepy that if a woman were to do them, it would be fine. Which, I guess in turn, adds to that isolation and feeling as though you perhaps don’t belong to anything or anyone. What’s particularly fascinating is that everyone has their own reason for feeling as though they don’t belong, and all are unique to each individual, but the feeling itself is universal. However, it’s also something we’re apparently allergic to when it comes to helping others it seems. And I wish I knew why that was, perhaps it’s due to our growing comfort of having things the way that they are when they are good, and only focusing on ourselves when things are bad. I can’t be sure of it, really.

As for what Collins has to say about these experiences, from what I gather, is that it doesn’t permit you to be fully immersed as this unique experience to being not a part of the group creates a kind of unique group of its own? It seems to me that’s where she is headed, where you kinda have your foot in one group and the other foot in another group. And in doing so, you create this middle space that isn’t quite clearly defined where you essentially don’t belong to either but the middle doesn’t exist yet because of the nature of trying to fit in and trying to be a part of something that isn’t meant for you. At least that’s what I think that she’s getting at.